Gummy Bears and Mathgibra

The day started by waking up both traditionally and ridiculously early. Okay, so 6:30 in the morning probably isn't that ridiculous, but it sure feels like it. I'm sure we're not the only family that has this tradition, but my older sister and I started waking up early on Christmas mornings many many moons ago.

Back when it first started we would get up as quietly as we could and sneak downstairs, trying very hard not to wake up Mom and Dad in order to unpack our stockings and have a preview of the year's take. After taking a little while to ooh and aah at all the goodies we would carefully repack our stockings and creep back up to bed, where, without fail we would each lie sleeplessly for the next hour or two until we thought it was an appropriate time to wake our parents. Usually that was about 6:30, but we had to start giving them a break eventually and we moved it up to 7:00. Back then we would wake up really early, sometimes as early as 4:30 or 5:00. Eventually, after realizing the futility of trying to sleep again, we just didn't go back to bed afterwards. Instead we just stayed up until it was time to bang on our parents' door. That got really boring, so we started waking up later and later. Now, we're all old enough that sleeping in would really be nice, but for the sake of tradition we woke up early this morning.

Recently, we started another Christmas morning tradition. Suudsu. It's basically gummy bears in skim milk. Don't question it. It just is. Admittedly, however, it has evolved some over time. Three years ago it was gummy bears in skim milk. Last year it was gummy bears in chocolate milk, and this year it was gummy bears in hot chocolate. We determined that this year we have reached Suudsu Zen. It's great. The gummy bears melt a bit and flavor the hot chocolate, and when you eat the gummy bears themselves they're all soft and chewy. Mmmmm.... and of course, you have to use Haribo gummy bears. Officially, if you asked me anywhere other than on this blog, I would undoubtedly deny even the very existence of any other type or brand of gummy bears.

In mathematical terms it's a very simple equation, really. Haribo = gummy bears = joy.

Or in simplified terms: Haribo = joy.

If I were more of a math geek I would probably construct some kind of equation involving the Greek letter sigma. That way I could feel superior to everyone that a) doesn't know what it means or b) has already forgotten what it means due to the fact that only .2% of everyone that's forced to learn advanced calculus is ever placed in a situation where they have to use it without the aid of a computer on a regular basis. It's ok. I'm not bitter about math. I love calculus. Really. I just think they should find a better name for it other than "calculus". May I suggest a few alternatives. I think "Sir Isaac Newton's Practical Joke" would be good. Or maybe "Manna for Masochists". Ooh, how about "Incomprehensible Gibberish Whose Conclusions Are Probably Just Made Up"?

So if anyone happens to be reading this blog that has enough influence in the mathematical world (probably imaginary) to enact such a change I would urge you to consider it -- or at least submit it to a panel of your peers so they can write lots of stuff on a blackboard that no one but mathematicians can understand and fill it with lots of Greek letters.

MΣ = TiRΣ)

MΣ(r^2)y Q, where Q = Christmas