Friday, November 2, 2012

Keeping Your Word: Part 2


My previous post takes place chronologically well after a long and frustrating battle with the One and Only Comcast.

The following is the beginning of a blog post that I began to write, and then agreed not to finish and publish after the executive escalations rep conceded to a refund of about $300 that I am due because of billing mistakes and promises broken. As of today, my account is still open with Comcast and I was billed for the account 5 days ago. It is unlikely that I will see the promised refund, as it is clear that as of yet no fulfillment on the part of Comcast has taken place.

************

Today is day 5. 

My phone tells me that it is a Wednesday. It is my only link to civilization, and I cling to it like the lifeline it has become.

My phone has become my life raft. It is my only link to the outside world. For five days I have been adrift in a shapeless void. Food, water, shelter, even companionship--nothing can give adequate comfort as I slowly waste away in the absence of a persistent, broadband internet connection.

"CURSE YOU, COMCAST!!" I weakly shout, shaking my first in the air. I am surrounded by boxes, furiously typing on the inadequate keyboard of my phone from my fetal position on the floor of my new apartment.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way, but I took a gamble. I gave too much credit where it was least due, and put all my money a horse with a proven track record for throwing the race...

**queue the wavy lines and flashback sequence music**

Day 1: The Flop

Comcast Support: "I'm sorry, but it looks like the address that you are moving to is not in our database; however, your neighbors across the street have service, so we should just be able to update the database and get you moved over on your move-in date. Here is your ticket number ######. Call back if you haven't heard from us in a few days."

Me: "I believe you, and I can't wait to continue our mutually beneficial relationship at my new address!"

Day 4: The Turn

Comcast Support: "Huh... It looks like that ticket was closed. Oh OK, we assigned it out to a local company. We have no way of tracking it now, but they will call you. We promise."

Me: "I feel confused, and I'm not entirely certain that you know what you're doing, yet I have no choice but to trust you."

Day 7: The River

Support Rep 1: "I'm retarded. Talk to someone else."

Support Rep 2: "I, too, am retarded. Talk to someone else."

Support Rep 3: "Those guys were retarded. Your ticket was closed because they entered your address incorrectly on day 1, and support guy from day 4 was a complete idiot too. I've made a new ticket #####. You should hear from us eventually. Some day you will see your precious interwebs again."

Me: "....please....  please, just... I'm a broken man. I need internet. I *need* it. So badly.... I know! I know! Take my water! Can you do that? I'll trade you my water. You can just turn it off. I'll go for weeks without water, but I *need* my internet..."

It is now day 10 since I first called Comcast. I am deep into day 5 without internet access, reporting from behind enemy lines in a foreign country. I hope one day to return to civilization...

************

As it turns out, it was a bad gamble giving Comcast a chance to get me connected, because ***three web-less weeks later*** they determined that in fact my address could not be serviced. The nearest cable box is two doors down (40 ft, give or take), and they refuse to connect me to it.

"Well why did you wait so long?" you ask. It's a fair question.

Pleasant Grove is not a podunk town, and our place is very near to the center of it. In an ideal world where broadband internet service is properly regulated like the utility that it truly is, one would expect that the options in my neighborhood would be either 1) abundant and competitive (assumes a functioning market where giant megacorps can't lobby their way into becoming local monopolies) or 2) limited, perhaps to one provider, but fair (in the regulated-as-a-utility model). We live in no such world.

Once Comcast wrote me off, I had two options for Internet.

  1. Broadband Wifi - supposedly with speeds of up to 15 megabit, but from a company with slimy business practices including bandwidth caps, overcharges, and a connection technology so fragile that even a minor trickle of rain shuts you down completely.
  2. DSL at 3 Mbps.
Both options suck. We're in a basement apartment so tethered 4G isn't an option, fiber is nowhere to be found in Pleasant Grove, and Comcast is the only game in town for cable, thanks largely to a backroom deal between Comcast, Cox, and Time Warner where they agree not to intrude on each other's territories. I ended up going with #2, a choice which eventually prompted the first of these posts. My package with Comcast previously gave me 20 megabit down, 5 up. I felt that a difference of 17 megabit was worth giving them a chance.

The conclusion that all of my experiences with broadband providers have brought me to is not surprising: Comcast sucks. Centurylink sucks. My faith in humanity is deeply challenged by this blatant and completely unchecked exploitation of the masses by the institutions that sate our ever-growing need for information.

Well played, Satan.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Keeping Your Word: Part 1

If Satan were an enterprising fellow and Hell had its own corporation, all Internet Service Providers would be wholly owned subsidiaries.

This is the tale of two Comcasts, told in two parts.

I say "two  Comcasts", but truthfully this tragic tale tells of two different companies, both seemingly determined to outdo the other in vying for the title of worst customer service ever. Until now, I had assumed that no one could compete with Comcast in this arena. I wrote my undergrad thesis on the future of commercial telecomm, specifically taking time to analyze Comcast's legendary public failures in customer service.

Comcast, Centurylink has just thrown down the gauntlet.

Part 1

************

Thank you for using CenturyLink.com. A CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultant will be with you in just a moment. Your account information is confidential and protected by law. Advise our agent if you prefer that we don't use it to market products or repair your services. This has no

effect on the service or offers we provide you. CenturyLink offers a bill block at no charge which prevents some 3rd party charges from appearing on your bill. This chat may be monitored and recorded for quality assurance.

All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 8 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.

All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 1 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.

Thank you for contacting CenturyLink. My name is Jeff J. (20850). How may I help you today?

Jeff J. (20850): Hello Mathew, how are you today?
Matthew Simons: Hi, I'm good thanks.
Jeff J. (20850): Great to hear. What can I do for you today?
Matthew Simons: My wife set up our account earlier this month and I'm going through making sure all our bills are paid. I'm not sure what my login credentials are.
Matthew Simons: I know that our account email is ########@qwest.com but that's about it.
Matthew Simons: sorry, @qwest.net*
Jeff J. (20850): Can I have your account number please?
Matthew Simons: I'm sorry, I don't know it.
Jeff J. (20850): Do you have your billing telephone number?
Jeff J. (20850): I have not heard from you for a couple of minutes. Do you still need me to keep this chat conversation open for you?
Matthew Simons: I'm sorry, I didn't see that the chat had updated
Matthew Simons: it's either going to be my number or my wife's, so my number is ###-###-####
Matthew Simons: my wife's is ###-###-####
Jeff J. (20850): I will be right with you.
Matthew Simons: ok great
Jeff J. (20850): Just to verify that I am speaking with a responsible party on this account, please provide me with your entire billing address, along with either the last four digits of the account holder's SSN or three digit account code.
Matthew Simons: I wouldn't have the account code
Matthew Simons: the billing address is #### pleasant grove, Utah 84062
Matthew Simons: give me a sec on the ssn, it'll be my wife's
Jeff J. (20850): No prolem.
Matthew Simons: How late are you guys open? I may need to do this later when she's not working and can respond to my texts.
Jeff J. (20850): We are open until midnight Central Time.
Matthew Simons: if it's under my social the last four are ####, but my guess is she put it under hers
Jeff J. (20850): I am sorry, but that is not the SSN we have on file.
Matthew Simons: no prob, going to look through files
Jeff J. (20850): No problem.
Matthew Simons: ####
Matthew Simons: ####*
Matthew Simons: She also probably put it on our visa ending in ####, if that helps for verification purposes
Jeff J. (20850): Thank you.
Jeff J. (20850): Before I can assist you further with your MyAccount I will need your security code.
Matthew Simons: Where would I find that?
Matthew Simons: truthfully, if it's not somewhere that I can access online I don't have it, my wife won't have it, and we will never ever have it.
Matthew Simons: [censored], I just want to pay my bill.
Jeff J. (20850): This will beo no your bill in the upper corner or in the green box.
Matthew Simons: we just got set up, we haven't gotten our first bill yet
Matthew Simons: we've only had service for 2 weeks
Matthew Simons: I want to set up online account access so that you can email me my bills and I can pay them online
Jeff J. (20850): Do you have your welcome letter or confirmation email?
Matthew Simons: the email gives my account number only, the welcome letter is in the trash, gone
Matthew Simons: ##########
Matthew Simons: is the account number
Jeff J. (20850): i understand. If you are unable to locate the security code I can have it sent to you via US mail to your billing address.
Matthew Simons: so I've now provided account number, email address, full mailing address, last four of social, name of the primary account holder, phone number on the account, along with card type and last four digits of the credit card on file, and you can't verify my access?
Matthew Simons: what the actual [censored]?
Jeff J. (20850): I would appreciate it if you did not use inappropriate language. If you continue to do so, this chat session will end.
Matthew Simons: Jeff, what more do you need from me?
Matthew Simons: This is beyond ridiculous, and this chat transcript is absolutely hitting my blog unless someone reasonable gets in contact with me.
Jeff J. (20850): I will need the security code before I can get you logged in to see your past bills. You can still make a payment with our QuickPay option by logging in with your account number and zip code.
Matthew Simons: What I'm finding out now is that our online account access credentials haven't been created yet. You couldn't tell me that?
Matthew Simons: Your set up account link is pointing me to sorry.qwest.com
Matthew Simons: what's going on?
Jeff J. (20850): I am not sure, did you go to www.centurylink.com?
Matthew Simons: /facepalm
Matthew Simons: yes
Matthew Simons: I went to www.centurylink.com and clicked on "Set up My Account" on the left of the sign in button
Jeff J. (20850): I understand. To set up your MyAccount you would need your security code. To payment you would need to click on the Quickpay option.
Matthew Simons: Is your call back system down?
Matthew Simons: for the security code
Jeff J. (20850): You would need to have a phone line for the automated phone call with your security code can be sent. I can have it sent to you via US maill.
Matthew Simons: ffs
Matthew Simons: it only dials land lines?
Matthew Simons: and you're a telecomm company?
Matthew Simons: Do you know how bad this chat makes your company look?
Matthew Simons: You could go take out a mortgage with the ID verification information I just gave you, but I can't log in to set up my ebilling.
Matthew Simons: I'm done. Saving this chat and going home. Have a manager call me at ###-###-#### within the next two hours or I'm posting this transcript, edited of course for personal information.
**********

That was two hours ago.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Glowing Purple Armor and Questicles


A post from an old friend has brought me out of blogging pseudo-retirement. You should start by reading his post:


First off, this is exactly the kind of analysis and game theory crafting that I engage in with my close friends quite often, so finding this blog has been a breath of fresh air--a well-reasoned, intelligent discussion hidden among a virtually endless supply of half-assed, poorly written, mass-produced drivel. Kudos, Cavernshark.

I essentially agree with what's been written, with a few minor differences. The biggest objection I would raise is really just a matter of semantics, but it's an important distinction to me, so I'll make it. The use of the term "end game" generally refers to a point in any MMO that I hate. It embodies the idea of mindless tedium as a means to achieve mostly-meaningless goals. Admittedly, my perception is highly colored by my experience with World of Warcraft, but then whose isn't?

The Problem

Ultimately, I play a game for the journey. That's where all the fun is. With WoW, getting to 60/70/80/85 is one journey, while grinding up gear and raiding is another. For me personally, the first journey was more fun than the second, but that was mostly because the second journey lacked even the facade of a goal. It goes something like this:

1. Grind grind grind, get a piece of gear.
2. Show off your gear to your buddies.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad nauseum, until you can:
4. Kill Onyxia/The Lich King/A Giant World-Eating Panda or whatever the hell is the current boss of the month, and get a better piece of gear.
5. Kill it again, and again, and again, until all your gear glows bright purple and everyone else standing around, bored as hell with nothing to do at the bank in Stormwind can see how awesome you are.
6. Call everyone else a noob. Congrats, you have beaten WoW.

Now, I understand that there is an entirely other side of the end-game that I never engaged in, which is the PvP side of things. Not my thing, and from what I've observed, it's a relatively small subculture of WoW players that prefers PvP to raiding.

Why do I like the first journey better? It's more dynamic. Landscapes change, questgivers change, and there's a consistent, permeating sense of progression. Now, some of that enthusiasm ebbs when you figure out that this progression, too, is mostly meaningless and arbitrary, and the fanfare at hitting the level cap is quickly diminished when you figure out that it's really only the beginning of tedium. Let's face it: hitting the level cap is rather anti-climactic. You don't hit 85 by completing an epic quest where you slay a waffle-breathing dragon wearing rocket boots. You hit 85 because you were in the middle of fetching 32 boiled newts from the bellies of giant lava slugs for quest giver 367 who you don't give two shits about, and you happened to strike down your Nth lava slug, which magically granted you the expertise of a total badass.

The point that I'm getting at is that all goals defined by the devs in an MMO are usually completely arbitrary and don't actually present the player with a worthwhile objective, because they are never meant to provide a lasting sense of completion and satisfaction. Most MMOs just end for players when they wake up one day, running to generic dungeon number 7 and think to themselves "Why the fuck am I still playing this?" Ultimately, the best goals that motivate players are those that they create for themselves within the system.

(Part of) The Solution

Disclosure: I play (and love) EVE.

Fact: EVE has been around longer than WoW, released in 2003 (WoW released 2004). EVE subs continue to grow year after year.

The reason for this, as best I can tell, is that there are no arbitrary player goals assigned by the game. Players create their own agendas, their own plans, and their own end game. The system is designed in such a way that it provides you with a sense of progression and change for as long as you want it to. If your end game is to take over the EVE universe, go for it. Nobody says it can't technically happen, but be prepared for disappointment.

So when I read that end game content needs to be the primary focus for developers, I think we need to look at end game content differently. End game content shouldn't be just a set of activities that you can do once you jump off the level treadmill, designed to keep the player mindlessly enslaved to your subscription model. End game activities should be an integral part of the game design from the very beginning, when the developers think:

1. What, ultimately, do we want players to do in this game?
2. What epic storylines does our IP allow for, and how can we translate those into meaningful objectives that give players enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment?
3. How can we allow, and even facilitate player-created goals and objectives? *If we've learned anything from EVE, it's that these have the most lasting effect on player motivation

Let's change gears now. I could rant on that for hours, but I want to address some specific things mentioned in the original post.

Player Social Structures, Developer Limitations, and Player-Driven Development

The idea of having flexible player social structures is intriguing to me. I think it's great. I think that it would open up a lot of different possibilities for player interaction. I also think that a prerequisite to implementation for a system like what Cavernshark described would be a single-sharded world/universe, as in EVE. When playing WoW, I often found myself wishing that I could join one or more social circles who played the game but operated on different servers. In this situation, having more than one affiliation would be meaningless if only one social circle existed on a given shard. Still, kudos for an awesome, original idea.

Another point was made in the original post about the limitations of software developers. As an employee of a software company that operates as a subsidiary of a subsidiary of one of the IT industry's biggest players, I can absolutely confirm that we run on a triage basis. We throw tons of money at development, but it's never enough. We have a wish-list of features that's embarrassingly large, and most of it gets thrown on the back burner, because we're constantly switching from Oh-Shit-We-Broke-Something Mode over to Let's-Find-New-And-Inventive-Ways-To-Break-Our-Software Mode and back again. Somehow we end up with a decent product, but it's a never-ending cycle and you just have to live with the fact that development resources are always scarce.

So with that in mind, it seems to me that the Holy Grail of game design is to make something that is infinitely moddable.

Confession: I love Minecraft, and if you don't, then you are a bad person. The thing is, I haven't played vanilla Minecraft ever since I discovered mods. In fact, mods resurrected an otherwise waning appetite for the game and turned it into a raging, uncontrollable hunger that just takes hold of me at unpredictable times. When I have a severe case of the Minecrafties, there's nothing that will sate my appetite other than locking myself away for a few days and pounding away at chunky blocks in 8 bit pixilated glory. When I finally emerge from my Minecraft-induced, caffeine-fueled nerd marathon, I swear never to touch it again. That usually lasts about 6 weeks. I have been clean for 4 weeks now.

It goes to support my point, however, that player driven content is what gives players motivation. In minecraft, my goals are all my own and the means to achieve them is mostly provided by other players. The mods I use are Industrial Craft, Buildcraft, Redpower, Extra Pipes (teleport pipes for BC), and Power Converters for IC and BC. Hundreds of hours have been put into the development of these mods. Mojang, the creators of Minecraft, have spent absolutely nothing in the development of this content.

Similarly, my new obsession is Day Z. Now to clarify, Day Z is actually a mod--not the title of the game that is required to run it; yet I couldn't care less about Arma II. To hell with realistic FPS combat sims, I want to kill zombies. I shelled out $30 to the creators of Arma II just so I could play a free mod that made their crappy game worth buying. Me and almost half a million other people.

Rocket, the creator of this mod which has likely brought in revenues in excess of $10 million for the Arma team, was paid nothing to create it. He made it because he loved the framework that the original title provided and saw its potential. A free mod has generated more sales than 10 DLC packs could ever have done for this game.

My point here is that the MMORPG community has yet to release a popular title that is open enough to be modded, but that is exactly what it needs. You want endless content? Let the community develop it for you. Are there challenges with this model? Absolutely, but I have to believe that the challenges can be overcome. I certainly don't think that it's the only way that a good MMO can be made now, but I really want to see someone take a decent stab at it.

tl;dr
I have awesome armor and you are all noobs.